Review: Thor: The Dark World Spreads Darkness Across The Universe
- Feb 4, 2018
- 2 min read
*sigh* Here we go...
While investigating a mysterious gravitational occurrence caused by the Convergence of all the Nine Realms (and we're off to a great start), Jane Foster (Natalie Portman) accidentally activates and becomes infected by the Aether, an object of true evil that awakens the Dark Elf Malekith (Christopher Eccleston). He wishes to use the Aether to "spread darkness across the universe" or some nonsense.
In search of a cure, Thor (Chris Hemsworth) takes her to Asgard where Loki (Tom Hiddleston) is being held captive for his crimes in The Avengers. When Malekith attacks, he is forced to retreat, and Thor is forced to recruit Loki's help leaving Asgard while the Bifrost is locked down for the Convergence.
I'll leave the plot summary there (thank God, right?) but I will say that the climax is basically just a Skybeam™ that is resolved by Thor throwing teleportation sticks invented by Jane Foster at Malekith. It's a stupid movie with a stupid villain who literally has no personality or motivations besides "muh darkness". He has maybe four spoken lines that are in English.
And speaking of characters who really didn't get fleshed out, let's talk about Erik Selvig (Stellan Skarsgård) and the complete waste of a character who has otherwise become quite interesting. When we first catch up with him in Thor: The Dark World, he's running around Stonehenge naked. You read that right: the scientist who pretty much single-handedly carried the Earth plotline of Thor, and who created Loki's Skybeam™ in The Avengers, is reduced to running around naked and then later, refusing to wear pants.
The worst thing is that the first half of the movie was almost promising. Sure, no one really wanted more Jane Foster or Darcy, but the gravitational wormhole thing was (again, almost) fascinating. And I actually wouldn't mind seeing more of the story between Thor, Loki, and Odin, especially with Loki being imprisoned by the other two. And while I did love the way that story progressed, I hate that it also had to include Jane, Darcy, and Eccleston's Mr Boring.
Take the worst villain with the worst plan (besides, of course, "mission report, December 16, 1991" from Civil War) and put him in with the MCU's two worst characters, and of course the Skybeam™, and what do you get? This CGI sh*tshow - attractive, but not attractive enough to save this disaster.
Comments