Review: Valerian And The City Of A Thousand Planets Will Put You Right To Sleep
- Aug 9, 2017
- 1 min read
Valerian And The City Of...I'm just going to call it VATCOATP. That's no good either. Just Valerian, that'll do. Valerian is maybe the best looking movie of the year, in regards to the design as opposed to the actual effects, but it is here that the praise ends.
Agents Valerian (Dane DeHaan) and Laureline (Cara Delevingne) are assigned what should be a simple mission. Retrieve a small creature capable of replicating anything it consumes, thus making it invaluable. But they soon find themselves rolled up in an awful plot surrounded by characters somehow more two dimensional them, imagine the horror.
Valerian isn't bad, just boring. Looks nice and that's it. Delevingne cannot act to save her life, the plot is more transparent that the clothes she wears and not even Clive Owen (an actor I like a lot) can save the film equivalent of a very pretty rubbish dump. The alien designs are very cool, as are many of the spaceships and robots but ultimately the film feels soulless and empty. The intro sequence is also worth mentioning as it's really cool, telling the story of humanity making first contact with various aliens, maybe check it out on YouTube sometime.
Don't feel bad about skipping Valerian. It's not great. Unless of course you have insomnia, in which I (keeping in mind I have no medical license whatsoever) recommend using as a potential cure.
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