Review: Transformers: Age Of Extinction Is Far Too Long And Way Too Boring
- Jun 20, 2017
- 2 min read
Well. This is it. The pinnacle of everything that gave Michael Bay a bad name. It’s not quite 3 hours long, there are at least one hundred explosions, there’s self referential jokes which probably weren’t written that day, a moron of a main character and the occasional robot based action scene. Just a heads up, don’t watch this movie.
Cade Yeager (Mark Wahlberg) is an inventor. Yeah, this one’s off to a great start. When he buys a truck that turns out to be Optimus Prime (Peter Cullen) he unwittingly throws himself into an interspecies war. After years of working together mankind has turned against all Transformers, Autobots included. You may be able to tell that writing wasn’t a priority. There is however, a bounty hunting Transformer that is working with the CIA’s Transformer hunting team, something to do with dinosaurs and I stopped caring two movies ago, which is longer than Michael Bay lasted.
There is nothing redeeming here. Not even the action, which is often entertaining in other films, alleviates the immense suffering that is brought on by watching this movie. There’s not much more to say. Mark Wahlberg is awful, but isn’t he always, there’s even more focus on humanity, something that Bay never realised than NO ONE CARES ABOUT BECAUSE IT IS LITERALLY THE LEAST INTERESTING THING TO PUT IN A TRANSFORMERS MOVIE.
It’s a simple concept. Big robots, have them fight, make it look cool, keep it to 90 minutes long. Then you’ll make the stupid amounts of money these films somehow make AND actually be entertaining. I’m pretty sure I’m one of maybe four people on the planet who watched this movie for a second time and I know that not one of us enjoyed it. Do not watch this movie, it’s trash, it is a dumpster fire in film form, it’s a big budget abomination and it’s the bane of blockbuster cinema.
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