Review: Pirates Of The Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales And Dead Franchises Shouldn't
- May 25, 2017
- 2 min read
Pirates Of The Caribbean, the first one that is, is a genuinely enjoyable film. High seas humour mixed with solid action and some decent storytelling to create lightning in a bottle. Now, after some pretty average films later we have the fifth one and yeah, it's exactly what you expect.
Captain Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) is back, again, maybe a few years to late. Naturally he's being pursued bu some supernatural force and yeah you've probably lost interest because the plot is absolutely dull, boring and not worth covering.
It's a new Pirates movie so you probably know what to expect. The villain is the only new component that's any good with Javier Bardem's Captain Salazar, the ghost Spaniard slain by Sparrow years ago. He's well done and quite grisly. He and his crew exist in the state in which they died which means half severed heads, missing torsos and other injuries are on display. Not since the original film has the enemy been so grotesque. At times it channels an almost horror movie style which feels fresh and new in an otherwise stagnant pool of salt water.
The new characters are entirely forgettable and add nothing to the film, Johnny Depp sinks ever deeper into the pit of stupidity he has been unable to escape for over a decade and majority of the jokes fail to land. Geoffrey Rush returns as Captain Barbossa and quickly overshadows everyone else with easily the best performance of the film but not even he can save this two hour long cure for insomnia.
It's boring, predictable and everything else that every other Pirates sequel is as well. If you have some strange addiction to Johnny Depp then seek medical attention, whatever you do, don't go see this movie.
Comments