Review: King Kong (1976) Is In A League Of It's Own.
- Mar 7, 2017
- 2 min read
Ha Haha Hahaha Hahahaha Hahahahaha...Wait, you mean I'm supposed to take this seriously?
Jack Prescott (Jeff Bridges) stows away on a boat bound for a mysterious island, one rumoured to have massive deposits of petroleum. Soon enough he's been caught, made the expedition's official photographer and rescued Dwan (Jessica Lange). But, when they arrive on the island and Dwan is kidnapped by natives and given to a giant ape, it's up to Jack and Fred Wilson (Charles Grodin) to rescue the girl and capture the beast.
Oh my, this one's laughably bad. From an awful gorilla suit to acting that transcends all levels of bad, 1976's King Kong proves that bad remakes have been around longer than most people realise. While the first hour or so isn't completely awful it soon becomes apparent that the best is over. It was about the point that Kong dunked Dwan in a pond then blew on her to dry her off that I realised this movie wasn't going to get any better.
While Kong himself isn't terrible, even if the suit looks like it belongs in a parody film, the effects that surround him are put to shame by those forty years earlier. Jessica Lange's Dwan, and yes, that is her name, is so laughably bad that she's impossible to take seriously. Add to this the fact that she's a total idiot and you have a heroine that's more grating than interesting. Jeff Bridges is alright, though he hardly seems to be trying, and he's easily the best actor on display.
To sum it up, please, please, please don't watch this movie. It's awful. It's not even so bad it's good. This stinking pile of monkey dung cost $24000000 in 1976, that's $145000000 today, and not a cent of it is well spent. Avoid at all costs.
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